WSMParentConnections

Who has had the most influence in your life? Your mom? Your dad? A coach? A camp counselor? There are all kinds of people that play a part in our lives, in our stories. And some of these people have played a part in how you see God. In fact, God has used some of those relationships to grow your faith. We call these relationships providential because they are about having the right people in your life at just the right time.

Parents, use these questions to talk about what your student learned this Sunday.

• Who are the people in your life who have had a direct impact on your relationship with God?
• In what way did these people influence, guide or encourage you? 

The Lord loves the righteous. The Lord watches over the alien.  Psalm 146:8-9.

Also Parents, I encourage you to ask your student a question.  Ask: Can you name three kids at school who seem to be left out or get teased a lot? They will probably not have any trouble coming up with the names. You can even ask them why they are treated that way. This should lead to a good discussion.  Remind them that God watches over all of us—but especially those who are like strangers or newcomers. And He often wants to use us to show His love to them.

We know that ever student has the power to influence and the opportunity to develop some pivotal relationships. 

Allow your teen to see how you strive to grow so they can understand how to confront their own limitations and pursue character and faith.

NOT QUITE GROWN UP

By Tim Walker

Are you done yet?

Are you completely grown up?

Be honest.

Yeah, me neither.

Sure, I put on the guise of being a grown-up every day—I’m married, have three kids, work a job, drive a car, pay a mortgage.

But if I was completely honest, I still have some growing to do.

And I’m not talking about my waistline. (Ahh, the 40s.)

Quite honestly, there are times when I feel anything but grown-up. There are times when I want to run and hide like a little kid. There are times when I want to pitch a fit like a toddler. There are times when I want to eat dessert first. (Well, that last one I actually can do. Refer back to the earlier comment about the waistline.)

These realities make it quite clear that I still do have a lot of growing to do. I’m not done yet.

I still need to learn.

I still need to be challenged beyond what is comfortable.

I still need to be willing to discover new things about who I am, who my spouse is, who my children are and the world I live in.

I want my relationships to grow and be more than what they are today—and that includes my relationship with God.

Sure, it would be easy to ride that one out. After all, God and I have known each other for years. But just like with any relationship in my life, I don’t want it to stay right where it began. It would be easier to stay where I am. It would be more convenient, require less time and less attention, but let’s be honest. The relationships we have with people where this is the case, rarely go the distance, and seldom do they ever become lasting relationships with genuine connection. With these people the conversation is only going to go so far. The connection is going to be limited.

Like many of us have probably learned the hard way, relationships not invested in and not cared for don’t make it. Relationships not growing are slowly dying. I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want that to be the case with the people I care about.I want my relationship with my wife to be more than it was when we first met.

I want my relationship with my kids to be more meaningful than when I changed their diapers. Relationships are meant to be dynamic. They were meant to grow and change.

And that includes my relationship with God.

And here’s one thing that is awesome about God—He wants this relationship to grow too. And He will use all kinds of things to make that happen. He wants me to not only grow in what I learn and know about Him, but He also wants me to grow as I experience life with Him. Not only that, He will bring people in my path to direct me. He will use circumstances that cause me to lean into Him and prove how trustworthy He is. He will take my simple “I’ll do it” when I volunteer for something and show me how serving connects my heart to His.

So many people see being a grown-up as the finish line, reached when all their goals are accomplished. Those are goals filled with the “If I can justs . . . “ If I can just . . . get a job, get married, have kids, buy a home. But you and I know those justs can be moving targets.

But the God who made you and me, the God who knew us before we were born, is the God who says, “You’re not done yet.” There’s still so much He wants me to know, and there’s still so much He wants you to know.

I’m not done yet. I still need to grow.

And I will be at this place until the day I die, because He’s a big God, and there’s still so much He wants to show me.

So you’re not a grown up. You’re simply growing up.

© 2010 Orange. All rights reserved.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Easter is Coming…

Be a Student of What They are Learning

We’ve read the story year after year. We know that Jesus was crucified, placed in a tomb and resurrected on the third day. And this is important! But when we take a look at the bigger picture of Scripture, we see themes and images that come up again and again to shed even more light on the significance of the Easter account. Just like reading a good book or watching a gripping movie, we understand that the author is trying to turn our attention to something greater than the story itself. Over the course of this series, we look at a few key themes in Scripture—Bread, Water and Blood—to help weave together the greater story of God’s love for us. To take the power of the Easter story and allow it to shine in those places where we need provision, security and redemption.

Check out more ways to create a greater impact with us on the ParentCue page.

Parents,

I am so thankful that God has given me the privilege of joining forces with you and your family as we seek to create a greater impact in the life of your student.  I am always thinking of you and praying for you.  Thinking about what I have to offer that will better equip you and praying for clear vision and direction as I seek to minister to your family.

I have a great resource that I would like for you to benefit from.  A book titled: “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof.  This book highlights 5 family values that are key for the long term spiritual health and maturity of kids and students.

Family Value 1) Widen the Circle: Pursue strategic relationships for your kids.

Family Value 2) Imagine the End: Focus your priorities on what matters most.

Family Value 3) Fight for the Heart: Communicate in a style that gives the relationship value.

Family Value 4) Create a Rhythm: Increase the quantity of quality time you spend together.

Family Value 5) Make it Personal: Put yourself first when it comes to personal growth.

There are so many great insights and helps throughout this book, but one of the best is found in chapter 6, talking about Creating Rhythm.  A great resource for parents to increase the quantity of quality time you spend together as a family is the family time chart. The basic idea is that parents can be intentional by using the different opportunities throughout the day to communicate different truths in different ways. The break down the day into four times with each time having a distinct communication style, a unique role as we share a specific goal.

Time: Meal Time >> Communication: Formal Discussion >> Role: Teacher >> Goal: Establish Values
Time: Drive Time >> Communication: Informal Dialogue >> Role: Friend >> Goal: Interpret Life.
Time: Bed Time >> Communication: Intimate Conversation >> Role: Counselor >> Goal: Build Intimacy.
Time: Morning Time >> Communication: Encouraging Words >> Role: Coach >> Goal: Install Purpose.

This book is chalked full of clear helps and strategies to help you maximize the things that are already in your lives and come up with a realistic plan to incorporate the ones that are missing or lacking.

So parents, will you let me encourage you to parent beyond your capacity?  There are two easy ways you can get a copy of this great book.  The first is that you may purchase your own copy from Amazon.com or the media stand at Warren.  The second option is to borrow a copy from the student ministry office.  We will have a limited number of books available for a two-week loan period at no cost to you.

He is Worth It!

John Arnett

An America’s Research Group survey conducted in 2009 found that 95 percent of twenty- to twenty-nine-year-old evangelicals attended church regularly during their elementary and middle school years, but only 55 percent attended during high school.  By the time they reached college, only 11 percent were still attending church.

There is a scary trend happening —approximately 70% of people who grow up in church drop out of church when they become college-aged^[1]. That means that approximately 7 out of 10 of the students currently involved in our student ministry will stop attending church after they graduate from High School. Wow! I don’t know about you, but that is extremely heart breaking.

There are many different theories as to why this is happening, and what we can do to prevent it. And, while all of those theories hold merit, we need to find the base line—what can we begin to do today to help grow longevity in our students’ faith? Here at Warren, we believe a lot of it has to do with our students’ ability to “own their own faith.” In other words, we need to move students past the information of faith and into the experience of their faith.

Experience is the reason that students come home from a mission trip more changed after 2 weeks “in the field” than after sitting in our ministry environments for several years. Experience is something tangible for students to hold on to when nothing else seems to make sense. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “All that I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all that I have not yet seen.” Experience is that history, that background in a student’s life that allows them to hold onto their faith when it’s not easy, or convenient to do so.

Is this the only thing necessary to keep our students from falling away from the church? Probably not, but it is something that we can address that will help build a stronger foundation for them as they transition out of our ministry and into their next step. It is the thing that can move them from knowledge about the Bible to an acute awareness of the way that God’s story is a part of their story.

Our desire is to create an experience every week here at Warren that helps students to know with their heart what they already know in their heads.  We also desire to equip you as the parents to create a continuation of that experience at home.  We know that you have far more impact in their lives then we ever will and we know that our combined efforts will produce a great impact than we can make individually.  So check out our Parent Cue.  Our aim with Parent Cue is the set you up well to help your student process what they are learning and see how they can live it out.

He is Worth It!

John Arnett
Middle School Youth Pastor
Warren Baptist Church

[1] The Slow Fade, pg 23

Our middle school small group connections hour is designed to help students experience their faith in three areas. Wonder. Discovery. Passion. These three things affect everything we do. They pull at our hearts, drive our behavior and capture our imagination.

Middle School Connections is about awakening spirituality, reactivating the family, and restoring a broken world. Our curriculum isn’t focused on hot topics or pressure-packed agendas— they are all a part of something deeper, where a deep theology meets practical needs.

WONDER. DISCOVERY. PASSION. MS Connections moves students beyond information about God to an actual experience with God. Every series we teach falls under one of these areas:

WONDER – God DESIGNED the world and created me in His image with a unique IDENTITY so I can CONNECT to Him as my Heavenly Father.

W1 – DESIGN: What I see around me reveals a Creator I cannot see.
W2 – IDENTITY: I am created in the image of my perfect Heavenly Father who has an unending love for me.
W3 – CONNECTION: I live in pursuit of an infinite God who desires an eternal relationship with me.

DISCOVERY – When I follow His Son Jesus by FAITH, His Spirit TRANSFORMS me and empowers me to live out His TRUTH.

D1 – FAITH: I believe in Jesus, and will continually trust Him, even when life doesn’t make sense.
D2 – TRANSFORMATION: God’s Spirit is transforming my unique and imperfect life into the character of Christ.
D3 – TRUTH: My response to God’s Word shapes how I see God’s Story of redemption at work in me and around me.

PASSION – I choose to live in a COMMUNITY of family and friends showing God’s love and COMPASSION every day and demonstrating His story of RESTORATION to the world.

P1 – RESTORATION: God designed me to participate with Him in restoring a broken world.
P2 – COMPASSION: My faith in Christ is revealed by my compassion and care for others.
P3 – COMMUNITY: I choose to live in the complexity of family and community because God values them.